Doubts and Uncertainties
by That Old Black Magic
Summary: Third part in the From The Heart series. Jack's hurt Sam's feelings and Daniel has his input. What happens when Jack goes to say he's sorry? JS angsty, comfort and fluff. Rated T for language. Oneshot.


A/N: Third part in the From The Heart series. This can be read as a stand-alone and still be understood, but I would recommend reading She Was Never Mine first to get a better idea of what's happening. This one's based on the quote from Brokeback Mountain. If you wish to make my day, review! Enjoy please!

**Jack Twist**: I wish I knew how to quit you.

* * *

Jack wandered the halls of the base, consumed by the thoughts in his head and quickly cutting off any conversation with anyone he met. He hurried towards the cafeteria, hoping to find sanctuary in there. No-one would be there at nine o'clock at night. 

He slipped into the darkened room and found a seat as far away from the door as possible. He needed time to think.

* * *

Daniel saw Jack practically run from the room. He wondered what could have possibly have happened now? He heard the sound of sobbing coming from Sam's room and was there in an instant. 

"Sam?" he called, poking his head round the door. He saw her tears and moved to her bedside, standing beside her. "What happened?"

"It's nothing," she choked out, tears falling fast down her cheeks.

Daniel didn't believe her words for a second. "If it's nothing, why are you sobbing like there's no tomorrow? Come on Sam, you know you can tell me anything."

"Well Jack was in here and we were just chatting away," she sniffled, seemingly calming for a moment as Daniel handed her a tissue. "And I casually joked that he almost lost me out there, on the mission today."

"Yeah and then what?" Daniel asked, sitting next to his friend on the bed.

"And then he said," she tried, tears returning.

" And he wasn't joking either! He said, 'You can't lose something you never had'," Sam whimpered, barely managing those torturous words again.

"I'm going to kill him," Daniel started off calm but his voice rose, "I'm going to bloody KILL HIM!"

And before Sam could utter another word, Daniel had stormed out of the room in an almighty rage. She sighed as a few more tears made their way to the bedcovers before being rubbed away by the tissue. She really didn't need Daniel choking Jack on her behalf. No, that wasn't what she needed at all.

* * *

Daniel was like a bull in a china shop. The longer he went without finding Jack, the more angry he became. When he eventually found O'Neill, his look and manner said he was willing to take on the whole Go'uld galaxy by himself. 

"Jack O'Neill," he growled into the dark of the mess hall. Jack looked up and was startled by a very aggravated Daniel.

"Hey Danny Boy," Jack said wearily, doing his best to sound casual.

"Don't you Danny Boy me!" Daniel ground out, closing the cafeteria door with a deadly bang.

Oh great, Jack thought. Now Daniel's here to rip my head off.

Jack kept silent as the archaeologist advanced menacingly toward him while continuing his rant, " Have you always got to be such a bastard to her?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jack shot back angrily, instinctively knowing who they were talking about. Daniel didn't normally like to show his temper but he felt that this time, it called for a little bit of heat.

"I heard Sam sobbing from the infirmary. That's right, sobbing!" Daniel spat at Jack's shocked look.

"She told me what you said to her. For Christ's sake Jack, she got shot today! She got shot trying to cover our asses," Daniel finished quietly, looking harshly into Jack's eyes.

"I know Daniel. I know," Jack said weakly, looking at his friend. "I'm trying to run away from how badly I feel about this whole thing."

"And taking it out on her was the best way? Not such a smart idea Jack," Daniel said, the danger still glimmering in his eyes. "She really does care about you and your opinion of her. Don't you realise how much your words have hurt her feelings?"

"You'd better apologise to that woman soon or…" Daniel didn't even finished his sentence. He simply turned away from Jack and out of the room.

Jack resumed his previous position in the back corner of the room with even more on his mind.

* * *

Sam's tears eventually stopped and she anticipated the arrival of one of her team mates. Her anger had set in too. Who the hell did Jack think he was, saying that to her after she had just been shot and wasn't long out of surgery? She was glad when Daniel re-entered the room. She gave him a shaky smile as he pulled up a chair to sit beside her. 

"You look a lot healthier now," he commented, smiling at her. She returned his smile.

"So do you," she remarked. "Work off all that anger by storming round the base?"

"Found Jack actually," he said quietly.

"You did?" Daniel could hear the growl in her voice. "And what did he have to say?"

"Nothing," Daniel said, not quite meeting her eyes as he continued. "I did most of the talking or shouting in there."

"Sorry I got you involved Daniel," she said, reaching out to touch his hand.

"Anything for one of my best friends," he smiled before saying, "It's late, I need to head to bed otherwise I'm going to be real bad in the morning. You want me to stay the night here?"

"No it's ok," she grinned at him but as he headed to the door, she stopped him. "Would you mind?"

"Not in the least Sam," he said, sliding into one of the beds next to hers. "I'm sure Janet won't mind either. Night."

"Night Daniel," she yawned before slowly rolling over onto her side and drifting off to sleep.

* * *

Jack moved back along to the infirmary. He had to check Sam was sleeping alright. He couldn't believe he'd made her cry. Sam had such a strong character, it took a great deal to upset her. What made it worse was that he was the cause of her pain. 

He looked into the room and saw she was sleeping fitfully. Daniel was there too, her ever present bodyguard. It was terrible to think that she needed one against him.

She was tossing and turning in her sleep, causing Jack to enter the room. He silently closed the door over and slowly made his way to her side. Her duvet had slipped slightly and she was shivering.

"Oh God Sam, I'm sorry," he whispered into the air, pulling the covers up to her chin. He stared at her for a few moments. She was so beautiful, in sleep or in waking to him.

He loved to see her talk and gesture, smile and laugh. He loved her laugh. He pushed back some of her hair before leaving the room as silently as he had entered.

* * *

A week had ticked by, with Daniel, Teal'c and Janet being frequent visitors to Sam's side. General Hammond had been in a few fair times too. As had been Sam's other friends and admirers. 

But no Jack. No, he'd been avoiding her. So it was clear to her that she should avoid him too. Sam had better things to be dealing with right now, other than her commanding officer.

She was back on her feet and was getting used to doing her typical duties again. Shooting a gun was still a bit hard for her, what with scar tissue and all. Janet was right, she was left with a scar. A small thin one.

Sam wasn't bothered. She could handle a scar. She wasn't vain, so long as the scar didn't disfigure her in any way.

It was when she was leaving the infirmary to go back to her proper quarters that she and Jack happened to cross paths. Although her room was just down the corridor from his, she hadn't expected to meet him out in the corridor at half ten.

"Sam," he said, coming towards her.

"Colonel O'Neill," she said quietly, giving him a formal nod and quietly closing her door.

Jack hadn't seen her all week. He wasn't going to leave things this way, her thinking all sorts of terrible things of him. He turned the handle of her door and entered the room, shutting and locking it behind him.

"What the hell is this all about?" she said angrily, narrowing her eyes. Jack was glad that no-one else's room was in this corridor apart from him and her.

"I wanted to see you," he said bravely, looking her straight in the eye, his back against the door.

She laughed an ironic laugh. "Oh, you wanted to see me, did you? You've haven't bothered all week and NOW you want to see me! Well that's just fantastic!" She was getting her own back, sarcasm dripping from her voice.

"Sam, I'm sorry," he said, stepping away from the door and moving closer to her. She drew back.

"Oh you're sorry are you? And that makes what you said to me alright?" she whispered, turning away from him, to hide the tears forming in her eyes. His words still hurt.

"No. I was upset. My thoughts were all over the place. I was so close to losing you, that I tried not to feel things," Jack admitting, opting for honesty.

"And you don't think I feel things Jack!" She spun back to face him, to yell until her voice went hoarse. "You don't think that every time we step through that gate that I don't worry you won't come back!"

Jack was stunned. He hadn't known that she worried for his safety. She didn't wait for his answer but continued. "All the time Jack! I care about you but you don't see me saying hurtful things to you!"

The tears couldn't be hidden any more. She turned her back on him as she began to sob once again. She had never known a man who could do this to her. She whispered, "I wish I knew how to quit this. I wish I knew how to quit you."

Jack stepped up close to his second-in-command. "Turn around," he said.

She continued to face the wall, desperately trying to wipe away the tears. "Turn around Sam. That's an order," he spoke in an authoritive voice.

Sam slowly spun round to face him. The tears that were staining her cheeks were being quickly followed by others. Jack couldn't bear to see her hurt any more.

"Come here," he said in a gentle voice, opening his arms to her. She looked uncertainly at him, before stepping into his embrace. She buried her face in his chest and wrapped her arms around his back.

His arms were held tight round her shoulders and he doubted he could ever let her go. It felt so good to have her back, to speak to again. He loved holding her to his chest, being her protector. Jack gently kissed her hair, letting all the doubts and uncertainties wash away in their cuddle.

After a very long time Jack said, "It's late Sam. Let's get you to bed."

"Yeah. You'd better go to your bed," she said, sitting on her bed and untying her boots.

"I think I'll stay with you tonight." Sam looked up at his words. "To say I'm sorry."

"But you already said that. In case you didn't know, you're forgiven," she remarked, eyeing him as he removed his boots too.

"Sam, don't argue," he said. "Please?"

She simply nodded, finding that she really didn't want to argue his decision anyway. He came round to her side and put his arms around her shoulders. He gently pulled her onto the single bed with him, scooting over to make more room for her under the covers.

Once they were both in, he flicked back the duvet and clicked out the lamp before putting a hand on Sam's waist and pulling her into a tight cuddle. She rested her head on his shoulder and laid an arm across his chest.

She looked up into his face. "Goodnight Jack," she whispered, gently kissing his jaw, that being the only part she could reach.

He turned his face toward her. "Night Sam," he whispered back, kissing her forehead and settling back against the pillows, not releasing his hold on her. She buried her face into his neck and slept more contentedly than she had in a long time.


End file.
